You’ve been dutifully dating, yet your girlfriends are all starting to get involved in serious relationships. It’s happening before your eyes. They are getting boyfriends, getting commitments, getting engaged, and arranging weddings. So you feel left behind and whenever you get a guy to date of course friends and family ask you if its serious and whether you are boyfriend & girlfriend or not.  But that elusive match and commitment still eludes you.

If a longer term relationship seems miles away and your current relationships just falter and don’t seem to track on to a natural progression to commitment, be careful.  You may need to cultivate more girlfriend material traits to get what you want.  Keep your chin up but strive to become the best woman you can in order to increase your chances with men.  It may take some work and some patience but it will be well worth it once you find him.  Try not to be jealous of your girlfriends.  You don’t want rush into a bad thing just because of peer pressure, since so many kids getting married in their twenties wind up divorced in their thirties.  

You need to find the right man, and in the meantime, you have an opportunity to cultivate the right traits within yourself to become perfect girlfriend material once you find him. There are certain traits men desire before they are willing to take the next step in a relationship with a woman. Here are just a few traits that a good girlfriend will have, and that you may want to consider cultivating.

A man wants a woman who genuinely likes him and will view such a woman as girlfriend material

We can be easily influenced by the people around us, especially families and girlfriends. You might find yourself squeezing a guy into the role of your boyfriend or future husband even though he really doesn’t fit. He’s just the only warm body available at the moment.  Don’t get serious if you aren’t madly in love with him.  Ask yourself if its him you love, or the idea of being a couple that you are madly in love with. It doesn’t matter if your friends think he’s a catch, or your mother is pressuring you to settle down with the first warm body that is in the same religion you are.

Don’t get seriously involved in a relationship because it’ll make someone else happy.  Eventually he will discover the truth and the relationship will fail.  The relationship should be about you and your boyfriend. If he doesn’t rock your world, you may want to consider keeping your options open until you do find the One. The One is that man who, when you are in the room together with him, nothing else in the world matters.  When you go to sleep at night, you are serenely content that he is there.  You don’t wish for someone else because he really is it.

A man wants a woman who shares some of the same values and will view her as girlfriend material if she does

A man is only going to get serious about a woman who shares some of his core values. You don’t need to agree with him on every subject, but look for someone who concurs with you on major issues. For example, it is incredibly difficult for a hard-core atheist and a strong Christian to form a lasting relationship. It is not impossible, but very difficult when core value systems don’t match up. If he believes that a woman should stay home and take care of the house but you can’t function without your career job and a housekeeper cleaning up your messes after you, it may not be a match made in heaven.  If you’re a total foodie but he won’t ditch a dime in a restaurant, your ideas of fun may prove incompatible.

Cultivate your belief systems and isolate the must-haves, then look for a man who shares some of the same values that you do.  If you know what are the must haves, you can navigate the dating territory smarter, and avoid wasting time on men who won’t ultimately pan out.  Chemistry is important, but so is basic compatibility. This is where shared values becomes important for a relationship to last. Thing of that movie The Way we Were. Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford had amazing chemistry but their religious and political differences ultimately broke them apart and the relationship failed epicly.

A man will not view a party girl as girlfriend material

You might want to avoid having a  life that revolves around being a total party girl and getting dressed in skimpy outfits going to nightclubs. There’s nothing wrong with visiting bars and clubs, but a man may not want to start a serious relationship with a woman who still visits dance clubs to meet men every single solitary weekend.   Your regular attendance could be a sign to him that you are not ready to settle down.  Sure you might come around someday, but at the moment if your Facebook or Instagram shows you posing in lingerie next to Hugh Hefner at a playboy mansion party, a commitment oriented man might view you as just too much of a party animal.

There’s nothing wrong with wearing sexy revealing clothes. Men undoubtedly want a woman who is attractive and whom he can show off to his friends as being super fine. But if  you have thousands of pictures on your Facebook or Instagram where you wear nothing but high-heeled stilettos, cutout dresses, sexy model poses and booty shorts, you’re going to come off as being superficial, high-maintenance, vain and trying to garner tons of male attention.  If you want to project a girlfriend material image you should not wear tight and revealing clothes exclusively.  Wear clothes that are appropriate for a lunch with clients or parents also.  Show that you have some breadth to dress demure and classy because this is the type of woman he is going to view as girlfriend material.  Know when to go all out but also know when to dress down for the occasion.

A man will not view a girl as girlfriend material unless he is extremely attracted to her

A man is going to want a girl who is both attractive to him, as well as very physically affectionate in private. There’s way more to a relationship than sex, but don’t kid yourself into believing this component is unimportant.  Intimacy and attraction can literally make or break a relationship with him.  A man needs to feel an incredibly strong sexual energy towards you in order to consider you as girlfriend material.  If he commits, you are going to be the only woman he is intimate with.  Therefore, you had better fit some of his ideals in this department.  He needs to feel like he can be intimate with only you and still be a completely satisfied man.  Therefore, a man will consider a girl as girlfriend material one whom he has good chemistry and attraction with.

She must be very  interested in having sex with him either now, or eventually.  You don’t have to seduce him or offer that right away, but he needs to know that those basic elements of attraction are there and will continue to be there over time.  Take time to learn what turns him on and makes him feel amazing.  Go slow and get to know him and all of his quirks well so that the two of you can build up healthy and strong sexual tension.

A man values attraction tremendously and must think a girl is beautiful in order to consider her girlfriend material

He needs to think you are  beautiful. You don’t have to be gorgeous by fashion model magazine standards.  But you do have to be extremely attractive to him.  You need to fit his tastes and fit what type of woman attracts him.  Don’t date a man because your friends, family, or society tells you to.  If he turns you off but you convince yourself you are attracted because he is becoming a doctor do you really think that will work?  Looks do have importance and he must be attracted to you and you to him.  Know that everyone has different taste so this does not mean you have to become a model.  All that matters is he thinks you are pretty and that you are likewise attracted to him physically. 

While you don’t have to look like a fashion magazine model, you can take tips on looking your best and improving your looks so that they peak.  This is going to give you the most opportunity in the dating marketplace which is exactly what you want.  For example, work out and eat healthy.  Get yourself physically fit.  Maintain a healthy weight and get nutritional counseling or a personal trainer if you feel your body is out of control.  Take time to shop and buy flattering clothes for your figure type.  Check a full length mirror before you run out of the house.  Try to match outfits and look coordinated.  Visit the makeup counters and learn how to apply a dusting of makeup that accentuates your best features.  Get your hair and nails done.  These little things can give you that overall polish and sophistication that men want in a woman.  They want a girl on their arm that looks like she has her act together.

A man values a girl who respects him and she will be the one he considers girlfriend material

You won’t get anywhere with him unless you respect him.  Too many women get into relationships where they are catty and always putting their men down. Don’t be the woman in a  relationship with a man who you emasculate.  If you find yourself always criticising him for his career, earning power, attitudes, behavior, or ideas, beware. Your man should make you safe and stronger.  You should never feel like you picked the weaker one of you two.   You should avoid choosing so-called project men who you think you can change or makeover into what you want.  If you are thinking if he just did this or did that he would work, watch out.  Men want a woman who is not interested in changing them or making them over.  If you goal is to change him into what you want, beware.  You may want to find a man who you like well enough to allow him to be  just the way he is.  This is someone you are going to respect ultimately, rather than disrespect.

Another sign of girlfriend material is that she really respects his  friends and family. You can’t have a great relationship if you do not get along with his loved ones.  If he is drinking beer after beer with the same crew of high school buddies that he has had for years, do not expect that to change.  If he gets plastered every Wednesday for poker night or goes with the boys to Vegas every year and comes back sick for two weeks, don’t expect that to change.  You should meet his friends and family prior to becoming exclusive and make sure that you see some sort of long-term fit there. Infatuation can seriously cloud your judgment.  Meeting his close friends and family can serve as a good test filter to quickly purify out incompatible mates before wasting more time.

A man wants a girl who respects him and lets him lead without constant power struggles.  This is the girl he will consider girlfriend material.  If you don’t respect his behavior or his friends and think they are a bunch of kooks this could be a really poor sign of compatibility.  You need a man who you can look up to and who has friends you admire, like and respect.  If he feels like you hate his family and friends and that he can never please you, he may move on to a different woman and rule you out as girlfriend material.  A girlfriend material woman is someone he sees fitting nicely into all aspects of his life.  She needs to genuinely feel like he is good enough for her.  If you don’t respect the man you are dating, move on and find someone you do respect.

A man wants a girl who is loyal to him and only a loyal girlfriend will be considered as girlfriend material

Men despise needy women. If you are texting him all day long or snooping his phone and computer, or relying on him for your entire social life, beware.  He may not consider you girlfriend material if you need him to exist.  A man wants a woman with a strong independent life and who brings something to the table in a relationship.  She should be loyal to the relationship but also independent and emotionally stable.  She has her own friends, family, talents and interests and he likes what she does and what she is about.  Healthy relationships are never codefendant.  If you want to be girlfriend material you need to learn how to function extremely well without a romantic partner.  Cultivate your own hobbies, interests and social life so when he looks at you, he sees a well-rounded woman with a vibrant life and something to offer him other than just your looks.  Strive for a relationship where the two of you have cool and exciting lives that when combined, makes an even better life.  He will see you as girlfriend material if he feels like being with you makes you both better versions of yourself.

The idea of a woman who would dump him, cheat on him or humiliate him in public strikes fear in every man.  Therefore, if you want him to consider you as girlfriend material you need to be both reliable and loyal.  He needs to be able to count on you to never embarrass him in public.  He will not want a girl that she openly flirts with other men. Some women are naturally flirtatious, but your boyfriend should respect you enough to know that you put a lid on it.  You aren’t going to backstab him or embarrass him. Flirting with other people is forbidden because it’s a recipe for jealousy and heartache.  A man is not going to start a serious relationship with a woman who’s always flirting with other guys.

If you have an ex-boyfriend floating around in your closet, you will never be girlfriend material.  You know he is in your closet if you talk about him and your past relationship or breakup with him to your new boyfriend.  This is a big red flag to men.  They don’t want a woman who still talks about, laments over, or is still close friends with her ex.  If he thinks you aren’t over your ex or that your ex is loitering around you still,  he will put on the brakes and refuse to become more involved.   He is going to know that when it comes to ex lovers, there is a good chance you are not over him or that he is not over you.  He is going to know that every single fight or disagreement you get into may drive you right back into the arms of the ex who is living in the wings.  There’s nothing that will ruin a serious courtship faster than a rival who he knows is still lingering.  Women who are ready for serious relationships have left the old boyfriends behind and are not still talking about their ex boyfriend or lover.

This may seem callous but when a man is dating you believe it or not he is sizing you up much more than you may think.  Women are so busy thinking about whether they like him, that they totally miss the fact that men can be very calculating and shrewd as to who they will date seriously.  You could be derailed into good time girl or casual girlfriend never to attain girlfriend status in just a blink of the eye.  He will be looking at your housing situation, your living situation, your employment situation, whether you have baggage, and weighing every detail about you while meanwhile you busy yourself doing the same to him.  He is going to ask you questions and snoop up your family life and suss any skeletons too.  A man wants a woman who has a good relationship with her family. He will pay close attention to the way you treat your family, and even waitresses at the restaurant.  How you treat the people around you is a reflection and an indication of how you will probably treat him.   If he sees you fight and bicker with family, sees you be rude, and notices you have Zippo friends or social life, he will question whether you are really a caring and kind woman.   

A man considering a girl as girlfriend material is going to be watching her interact with her family and friends.  To him, its like looking into a crystal ball to see how she’s going to treat her lover.  If you want to become girlfriend material you need to realize that it’s not just about you. It is also about the people you surround yourself with and the way that you treat others.  Only a girl with friends and a life of her own will he consider to be good girlfriend material.  To better your girlfriend material potential, you should therefore take stock of your family and friend situation.  Try to smooth out relationships with family members.  If your social life is stale join some interesting classes and cultivate a few girlfriends that you can talk to on the phone and go do fun things with. 

Are you being invited to friends houses on a regular basis?  Do you ever have company?  Do people call you?  Would you even have anyone to take on a double date or fun excursion with him?  Do you help celebrate your girlfriends birthdays?  This all may seem irrelevant to dating yet it is not.  A man wants a well-rounded woman who can add something to his social sphere.  A woman who can handle social milieu is worth her weight in gold and she is going to reign supreme as girlfriend material.

A man wants a woman who adores him, and only that woman would he consider as girlfriend material

A man want a woman who really, really likes him and cares about him to the highest levels.  Obviously this goes without saying.  Certain men who are not ready to settle down will have that sadomasochistic tendency to chase the so-called perfect woman who isn’t even interested in him.   These men are on the dating sites looking for models 20 years younger than they are.  These are the men that are gold digging and looking for the woman who can totally change their level of lifestyle.  If you see a man chasing a smoke dream he may not be the one for you.  He is either playing around still, or just immature and unrealistic.  Or maybe, he really can get a woman like that and is not genuinely interested in you.  If you notice a man who is always looking to one up, step up, or cast you aside for a better opportunity, you should opt out.  If he isn’t calling you up on the phone and asking to spend time with you after a couple of dates he will never get interested.  A man who is interested calls you.  A man who is out of your league texts you if you’re lucky.  A man who is a candidate to date and invest your time and energy into spends time during the light of day with you.  He does things with you, and for you.  He brings you around people he knows. 

If you feel a man is using you for maybe just physical purposes then you should cut your losses and opt out.  This kind of man can really mess with your emotional psyche and wreck you for the other men that might actually be interested in you and treat you right.  Don’t stick with men you need to chase down and pursue, no matter how gorgeous they are.  Brad Pitt is not your boyfriend, and you survive just fine.  If you need to pass up on a really cute guy because he just isn’t into you enough to treat you right, you will survive.  He will just be another cute guy floating out there in the world who is not your boyfriend.  Big deal.  Having to beg, chase, or convince someone to be your boyfriend or be attracted to you just is not worth it.  Having to tolerate a man who doesn’t take you out, introduce you to friends, or call you up on the phone is not worth it.  Even if you convince such a man to be with you temporarily, you will never get what you want from him.  If he doesn’t treat you like a girlfriend you should not move forward into an intimate relationship.  Consider ending it before it starts to save time and heartache.

There are plenty of available candidates out there in the world.  Use your time well while you are waiting to meet the one as the right guys don’t come around that often.  The key is to work on your personal traits and work on yourself all the time.  Become the person that a man would want as a girlfriend on his arm.  Tend to your looks, expand your talents, cultivate your social life, and spend your time doing things that make you happy and fulfilled.  The happier you are with your life, the more attractive and girlfriend material you will come across as to a man.  Just when you think the last man in the world for you has left the planet, another man will come along.  So don’t worry.

Be girlfriend material

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